How motherhood transformed me! 

I am finally breaking my blogging sabbatical with this post of the blog train -2 hosted by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies.

Thanks Pradnya for the warm intro ..

 

Well moving onto “How Motherhood Transformed Me” ..

 

I have to move back to 24 years back …

Oh yes! .. I was 2 months short 5 years old then .. 27.10.1993 – My little brother was born

Playing with him, taking care of him .. Feeling J! of him .. Learning from him .. Bettering myself.. (Sometimes for setting a better example .. Sometimes just to outdo him )  and of course fighting with him 🙂 has been my life motto!

I remember trying to secure real good marks in 10th only to set a good target for him to reach 😀

Oh yes! I was that crazy in being involved in raising him! 

My brother with the then Prime Minister

Then almost 8 years ago .. I lost him .. to an accident .. 

I was devastated .. I felt I could never love anybody ever .. again.. 

 

No not even falling for the husbandman can count .. 

 

Then .. On our first anniversary I could feel it .. I could feel a life .. Within me .. Other than mine ..

We met the gynaec .. She did not confirm my pregnancy .. But i knew it! A week later I decided to test myself .. 2 PINK LINES! 

 

I was right all the way .. 

 

We went for the scan .. And then .. I saw the foetus.. And its heart beating ..

I then understood what it meant to feel 2 hearts beating in the same rythm . . World halting .. And love at first sight!

My ability to love unconditionally finally rekindled !

 

It was pure magic! I did all that was told is good for the baby .. Listening, reading to Ramayana .. Crafting, cut off social media .. Writing, blogging .. Drawing .. Settling .. What not! Oh yes .. Cooking! I was way too nauseated all the time to even eat .. Forget cook .. 😀

Frankly everything I did for the baby .. Within me .. I was nourishing my soul along with the baby’s 🙂 

 

I was never this connected to my body than this! So much that when yet again .. The gynaec .. The nurses .. Told me otherwise .. Following my body let me deliver my child on my own! Only when Aadya’s head was out the world knew .. I was really in active labour and it was an emergency! Well this birth story in detail is for another post surely! 

 

All that I worked while Aadya was in the womb paid off .. So well that .. She was a baby .. A very very easy one to handle! So easy that .. I decided I wanted more than two children whatsover! 😉 (i was never a part of any of the parenting groups that i am part of now .. Nor i know the bliss of babywearing then but still .. she was easy .. )

Aadya and me with the AP chief minister CBN <3

 

Coming over to my second pregnancy .. I was more excited of Aadya having a sibling 🙂 i just know that magic bond siblings share !

But I was in for a very very pleasant surprise .. The due date coincided with my brothers birthday! 

 

But my happiness was changed to worry as the corporate hospitals .. Gave me an unnecessary cervical cerclage.. And advised bedrest .. When i decided to move back to Vizag ! I underwent severe depression.. Fear of losing my brother yet again .. Not able to feel the fresh air for a good five months 🙁 ( well with Aadya i was walking 5 km uphill everyday until the last before day of my delivery) I was never restricted as such .. But I overcame all that because I believed we send our vibes to the baby .. By trusting God completely! By signing up to a library and hobbies yet again .. Frankly all the crafts listed under The Parentales were made during this bedrest .. 

 

And finally even after the stitch was removed and I resumed my over active lifestyle.. I went to labour on my due date 🙂 my baby .. My brother and I with Lord Shiva’s blessings .. She was born on 27.10.2016! We named her Siva Manasi after Sivaditya ..

Siva Manasi turned one last month and Sree Aadya turned akka for one year! I love how they love each other so much .. Oh more than me too .. Strangely I dont feel jealous! I am happy that I am able to re-experience the sibling bond this closely sitting back ..

 

Motherhood encourages me to take notice of myself .. My own dreams. .. My own health .. My own thoughts .. Oh yes I stumble upon .. I fall down .. But I make sure I get up! Because i have 4 little eyes watching me .. Looking up to me .. 

 

I realised that failing is not that bad .. But refusing to try again is .. Finally what gets the children to work is .. Being an example you want them to be 🙂 

 

Mothering my children made me a stronger person .. Ever Ready to fight the world .. Fight my own vices if necessary:) And the bestest part is I am never alone … My children with their unconditional love will stand by me .. Even if it is .. Against the world! 

 

🙂 on this positive note, I sign off with loads of love to all of you who have come this far of my post ❤️

 

 

I introduce the next amazing mommy Rupali Saxena who blogs here. A mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend always 🙂 She is a traveller, her own story maker, inspiring and learning from her experiences. A CFA by qualification, writer by choice and trainer (finance ) by profession.

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63 Comments

  1. Sumira Bhatia

    November 16, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    What a heartfelt post!! 💞💞

  2. ourlittleworld2016

    November 16, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    What a beautiful post.. gave me goosebumps.. very sorry to know about the loss of your younger brother.. life can be cruel at times… happy that you have found your joy in motherhood and parenting.

    1. Gayathri

      November 16, 2017 at 11:57 pm

      Thank you so much rashmi! ❤️ frankly it always brings a smile to think about my brother .. Some people live without life for 100 years .. But my brother lives life to his fullest without a day of regret .. For 17 years .. I count myself blessed to have acquainted with him 🙂

  3. Sonia

    November 17, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Such an emotional post ❤️

  4. Akshaya

    November 18, 2017 at 1:57 am

    Big hugs Gayathri. This was such a powerful read! Your brother will always live on in memories, and in the love from the little ones.

    1. Gayathri

      November 18, 2017 at 4:10 am

      Thank you so much akshaya! They mean a lot <3 😘

  5. NupurNS

    November 19, 2017 at 12:43 am

    So beautifully written Gayatri.. your babies are lucky to have such a love in their lives. I’m sure their sibling bond will be something to cherish for you 😘

    1. Gayathri

      November 19, 2017 at 1:07 am

      It surely is 🙂 i love to see them together! They are the cutest

    2. Gayathri

      November 19, 2017 at 1:07 am

      Thank you 🙂 😘

  6. Charu Chhitwal

    November 19, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Thanks for sharing such a personal post with us. Hugs to you for your loss and kudos that you emerged stronger

  7. nehajainu

    November 19, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Such a touching post….hugs to you dear.

  8. Minakshi bajpai

    November 20, 2017 at 7:38 am

    Wonderful and touching write up. Feel so sorry for the loss of your brother. No one can take place of our loved ones. But still its called life with ups and down. Good to see that motherhood gives you that plessure of life which fills you with happiness.

    1. Gayathri

      November 22, 2017 at 1:43 am

      🙂 true .. thanks <3

  9. Poornima m reddy

    November 20, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    Soo sorry for you brothers loss… But I am glad you moved on… Loved reading you post…

  10. zainab

    November 20, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    So sorry for your brothers loss. I hope things are happier now. Love that pic …very sweet.

    1. Gayathri

      November 22, 2017 at 1:43 am

      thank you 🙂 and we are happy 🙂

  11. Neha Sharma

    November 20, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    First of I want to give you a virtual hug for being so strong, I can’t even imagine what you might have been feeling while writing this post. Sharing about such an experience of someone so close to our heart is not at all easy. Secondly I was so glad to read those lines where you mentioned that your girl decided to come into this world on the same date and month as that of your brother’s. This is so amazing, just like God’s blessings. Much power to you!

    1. Gayathri

      November 22, 2017 at 1:45 am

      Love! Thank you so much .. I feel better when I write it .. because I in a way relive the love for my brother 🙂

  12. Neha Tambe

    November 20, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    That was a very heartfelt and emotional post. From being a sibling to a mom of siblings is a long journey that you have captured.

  13. Dine Delicious

    November 20, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    What a lovely post this is.. Failures truly give strength and experience to handle hard situations more wisely.

  14. anubhutisethmehn

    November 20, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    The ups and downs were really were felt in this one. Very sorry for your brother. But yes life does moves on great that you are a proud mother now.

  15. Nisha Malik

    November 20, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    I am sorry you had to go through that. It’s very sad. It’s nice you have found your peace of mind in motherhood and parenting. Good job.

  16. freemindtree

    November 20, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    Sorry for your loss. But being a mother is a precious feeling.So happy for you that youa re experiencing a similar happiness like you felt when your brother was around. Motherhood is indeed magical.

  17. Amrita

    November 20, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    A vwry heart touching story .Sometimes God plays his hand in mysterious ways.Glad you are enjoying motherhood.

  18. Geethica

    November 20, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    This is a true example of how God takes one and gives the next in abundance. You lost your brother and were able to deliver a new life on the same day. Many more power to you.

  19. tamannabavishi

    November 20, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    It gave me goosebumps reading your post. Sorry for the loss of your brother 🙁 But i was so glad to know that parenting has given you a new sense of happiness

  20. Charu Sareen Gujjal

    November 20, 2017 at 8:49 pm

    That’s a heartfelt post. Motherhood indeed changes us as a being, only for better

  21. Sharvari Paivaidya Mehan

    November 20, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    Aww i was bawling my eyes out. This is such a beautiful story. GOD BLESS YOUR BABIES AND FAMILY.

  22. Anubhuti

    November 21, 2017 at 2:06 am

    That’s such a beautiful thing that happened to you …may the bond between your little ones remains strong ..forever…:)

    1. Anubhuti

      November 21, 2017 at 2:07 am

      And of course ..sorry to hear for the loss and the pain you had to undergo…

  23. momtasticworld

    November 21, 2017 at 3:42 am

    It is so beautifully written that i feel emotionally involved even while reading it. Thank you for sharing such precious moments of your life with us.

    1. Gayathri

      November 22, 2017 at 1:46 am

      thank you so much :*

  24. priyadarshani panda

    November 21, 2017 at 4:24 am

    I am in tears while writing this comment..god bless you dear and he already blessed you.. you were a mother since you were 5 and you got him back ..miracle do happen right ….

    1. Gayathri

      November 26, 2017 at 1:56 am

      ❤️ yes 🙂 miracles do happen

  25. Bushra

    November 21, 2017 at 5:12 am

    May his soul RIP. I can feel the momentum you have gone through. Very heart touching post incredible motherhood journey you have. More power to you

  26. Aesha

    November 21, 2017 at 6:08 am

    This is so amazing. Its like a miracle. God bless your family always. Very heartfelt post.

  27. Deepa

    November 21, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    This is a lovely post. Very heartfelt. Blessings to your daughters.

  28. Nikita Dudani

    November 25, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    Such a crisp, and warm post. I can feel your emotions throughout!

  29. mamamusings_

    November 26, 2017 at 4:00 am

    I had tears in my eyes reading your post. I have brought up my brother like a mother. I could absolutely relate to it. Beautifully expressed

  30. PrettyMummaSays

    November 26, 2017 at 5:33 am

    You know what Gayathri…I can relate to each and every word to your article. Especially the part of your second pregnancy. My daughter was born just two weeks before my father’s first death anniversary. She has same antic as my dad and she even looked like him for initial few weeks. I too feel he chose to come back this way. Hugs!!

  31. Humaira

    November 26, 2017 at 10:49 am

    Very inspiring post. Beautifully expressed thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

  32. ihc

    November 26, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    what a beautiful story- Thank for you sharing with us, and sharing the hope in a future with possibilities. May God bless you and your family.

  33. Amrit Kaur

    November 27, 2017 at 3:24 am

    This is a beautiful story about ur phase. And sorry for the loss.

  34. dhanyasuresh

    November 29, 2017 at 9:43 am

    Sorry to hear abt ur brother..big huggs… loved ur post..very touching an emotional…thanks for sharing this with us

  35. Ophira

    December 1, 2017 at 9:21 am

    I love your outlook towards motherhood. It does create a shift in our persecutive of life. Felt wonderful reading your article I could relate a lot with it.

  36. thelattemom

    December 1, 2017 at 9:24 am

    Motherhood gives us strength that most often we never realized we had. It surely brings out more than one new characteristic of ourselves that catches us off guard at times. Enjoy your motherhood.. All the best.

  37. renu vashishta

    December 2, 2017 at 5:13 am

    Completely feel one with you on the surreal feel of your sentiments.I feel God does listen to your heart felt grief.Commendable of you to have come out of your grief stronger yet believing in the power of almighty .Sharing our experiences itself is a difficult task but it helps and gives courage to many others.

  38. priya kathpal

    December 2, 2017 at 5:25 am

    Wow!! I am at loss of words, you are one strong lady and I am so glad Ive come across this blog. This will give so much strength to so many out there. Huge hug to you

    1. Gayathri

      December 4, 2017 at 4:01 am

      Thank you so much 😘

  39. Sapna Krishnan

    December 2, 2017 at 6:24 am

    My heart goes out to you. I can’t fathom what you must have gone through. It is amazing to see how you gathered yourself for your children and rocking it too. More power and strength to you.

  40. pinkdazzleblog

    December 2, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    Such a heart touching post. Wish the 2 kids a very healthy life!

  41. momlearningwithbaby

    December 3, 2017 at 5:22 am

    Felt emotional reading. You are a brave woman and i am sure an awesome mom. May God bless your family

  42. anjana

    December 3, 2017 at 11:07 am

    Touching write up. Sorry for your bother’s loss. It’s nice, that you moved on

  43. MommyingBabyT

    December 3, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    I was so bubbly reading the start of your post and then the news of your brother really brought me crashing down. What an irreparable loss. But I am still amazed by your positivity and the way you nurtured your baby inside you. You strength of character shine through and thats why you received another lovely gift on your brother’s birthday. Good luck

    1. Gayathri

      December 4, 2017 at 4:00 am

      🙂 u summed it all so well 😍 thank you for the love!

  44. Shrishti

    December 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    That was quite an emotional article . And it’s really a Lord blessings that you delievered your second child on your late brother’s birthday

  45. Shipra Trivedi

    December 6, 2017 at 10:35 am

    Loss of a close one is really a tough time but see you are a fighter and you passed through that time to enjoy some very good time with you beautiful kids. Stay strong and blessed dear.

  46. dishibhandari

    December 6, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    You are a star Gayathri, lots of love and good wishes to you and your girls 😍

  47. Anupriya Gupta

    December 8, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    A very heart warming story that you have shared with us. Love the fact how you fought through your fears and welcomed your kids to this beautiful world. Kudos to you.

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