Category: Sister’s love – Aditya

How motherhood transformed me!ย 

I am finally breaking my blogging sabbatical with this post of the blog train -2 hosted by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies.

Thanks Pradnya for the warm intro ..

 

Well moving onto “How Motherhood Transformed Me” ..

 

I have to move back to 24 years back …

Oh yes! .. I was 2 months short 5 years old then .. 27.10.1993 – My little brother was born!ย 

Playing with him, taking care of him .. Feeling J! of him .. Learning from him .. Bettering myself.. (Sometimes for setting a better example .. Sometimes just to outdo him ) ย and of course fighting with him ๐Ÿ™‚ has been my life motto!

I remember trying to secure real good marks in 10th only to set a good target for him to reach ๐Ÿ˜€

Oh yes! I was that crazy in being involved in raising him!ย 

My brother with the then Prime Minister

Then almost 8 years ago .. I lost him .. to an accident ..ย 

I was devastated .. I felt I could never love anybody ever .. again..ย 

 

No not even falling for the husbandman can count ..ย 

 

Then .. On our first anniversary I could feel it .. I could feel a life .. Within me .. Other than mine ..

We met the gynaec .. She did not confirm my pregnancy .. But i knew it! A week later I decided to test myself .. 2 PINK LINES!ย 

 

I was right all the way ..ย 

 

We went for the scan .. And then .. I saw the foetus.. And its heart beating ..

I then understood what it meant to feel 2 hearts beating in the same rythm . . World halting .. And love at first sight!

My ability to love unconditionally finally rekindled !

 

It was pure magic! I did all that was told is good for the baby .. Listening, reading to Ramayana .. Crafting, cut off social media .. Writing, blogging .. Drawing .. Settling .. What not! Oh yes .. Cooking! I was way too nauseated all the time to even eat .. Forget cook .. ๐Ÿ˜€

Frankly everything I did for the baby .. Within me .. I was nourishing my soul along with the baby’s ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

 

I was never this connected to my body than this! So much that when yet again .. The gynaec .. The nurses .. Told me otherwise .. Following my body let me deliver my child on my own! Only when Aadya’s head was out the world knew .. I was really in active labour and it was an emergency! Well this birth story in detail is for another post surely!ย 

 

All that I worked while Aadya was in the womb paid off .. So well that .. She was a baby .. A very very easy one to handle! So easy that .. I decided I wanted more than two children whatsover! ๐Ÿ˜‰ (i was never a part of any of the parenting groups that i am part of now .. Nor i know the bliss of babywearing then but still .. she was easy .. )

Aadya and me with the AP chief minister CBN <3

 

Coming over to my second pregnancy .. I was more excited of Aadya having a sibling ๐Ÿ™‚ i just know that magic bond siblings share !

But I was in for a very very pleasant surprise .. The due date coincided with my brothers birthday!ย 

 

But my happiness was changed to worry as the corporate hospitals .. Gave me an unnecessary cervical cerclage.. And advised bedrest .. When i decided to move back to Vizag ! I underwent severe depression.. Fear of losing my brother yet again .. Not able to feel the fresh air for a good five months ๐Ÿ™ ( well with Aadya i was walking 5 km uphill everyday until the last before day of my delivery) I was never restricted as such .. But I overcame all that because I believed we send our vibes to the baby .. By trusting God completely! By signing up to a library and hobbies yet again .. Frankly all the crafts listed under The Parentales were made during this bedrest ..ย 

 

And finally even after the stitch was removed and I resumed my over active lifestyle.. I went to labour on my due date ๐Ÿ™‚ my baby .. My brother and I with Lord Shiva’s blessings .. She was born on 27.10.2016! We named her Siva Manasi after Sivaditya ..

Siva Manasi turned one last month and Sree Aadya turned akka for one year! I love how they love each other so much .. Oh more than me too .. Strangely I dont feel jealous! I am happy that I am able to re-experience the sibling bond this closely sitting back ..

 

Motherhood encourages me to take notice of myself .. My own dreams. .. My own health .. My own thoughts .. Oh yes I stumble upon .. I fall down .. But I make sure I get up! Because i have 4 little eyes watching me .. Looking up to me ..ย 

 

I realised that failing is not that bad .. But refusing to try again is .. Finally what gets the children to work is .. Being an example you want them to be ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

 

Mothering my children made me a stronger person .. Ever Ready to fight the world .. Fight my own vices if necessary:) And the bestest part is I am never alone … My children with their unconditional love will stand by me .. Even if it is .. Against the world!ย 

 

๐Ÿ™‚ on this positive note, I sign off with loads of love to all of you who have come this far of my post โค๏ธ

 

 

I introduce the next amazing mommy Rupali Saxena who blogs here. A mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend always ๐Ÿ™‚ She is a traveller, her own story maker, inspiring and learning from her experiences. A CFA by qualification, writer by choice and trainer (finance ) by profession.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedintumblrmail

Rakhi

Raksha-bandhan is always special for me every year.

It only brings me tears now ๐Ÿ™ It reminds me I can’t hold your hand now …
Until 4 years back, I used tie Rakhis to many along with you! Then I used to think I was seeing a brother in many of them ….
But only after losing you, I have realised that all these years I have been seeing YOU in all of them.
‘Coz now even when my first cousins ask me to tie a rakhi, I really don’t feel like it :/
I am left groping for your Aditya! Just yours :'(
Love you the most!!!
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedintumblrmail

march 2, 2014

4 years and it has the same devastating effect ever .. How I, we wish this day never existed! I ‘ve lost my ‘lil brother this day March 2, 2010. I have a lost a brother, friend, guide, critic(best ever), stress buster/BOOSTER, my everything. We could fight like we never want to do anything with each other a moment, and the next moment can’t spend a minute without being a team! Well thats how every sibling is .. But deep down how much ever we fight, we will always love each other the most.

I lost all my interest in whatever things we fight the most for. Grabbing the place beside dad, mom’s first puri, chocolates everything. It hit hard on the face all the while I wanted to just fight with U, and these little fights made all these the most relishing.

When I have lost u forever in skin and flesh, I can will never lose U in person. U are what I am, what I relish, what I feel, in fact everything. I pity my husband for not getting to meet u in person and have to settle down to memories we recall. Well I pity each and everyone who couldn’t make to meet U in person actually.

Aditya ๐Ÿ™‚ though this day churns out my worst emotions, my not being able to hug U, kick U, get kicked by U, fight like there will never be another tomorrow, U always bring a smile on my face.

Yesterday for the first time I witnessed a crow taking its share of food from mom in Hyd, that too at our place. That very crow knocking Mom’s kitchen window is even more strange.

Wonders never cease if its U.

Our love for each other and our love to U will never wane!

U are the best buds! 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedintumblrmail

Am really not able to lead this life anymore , , ,

March 2nd is fast approaching . .

It been a year that I ‘ve lost U . .

I tried to be strong . . had been strong I can say . .

When I was staying with u on MARCH 2nd night . . I had only one thing on my mind “complete your ceremonies and rituals perfectly so U can be happy even in the eternal world . . and then all three of us can quit our lives and join U , , “

But dad may be had more sense than me . . he did say “U cannot escape , WE ‘ve done a great sin and which is Y we are supposed to face this turmoil and we can’t escape it . . It ll haunt us in lives together . . “

“BUT DAD!!! I can’t have my brother back ..

ITS SIVADITYA SREERAMANENI that I love so much . . and I can’t love anybody else . . “

IT won’t hurt me even a tiny bit as it hurts now . .

I never thought a moment after U Aditya was born that I had to think only about myself . . .

IT is we that I should think about and as time went by ITs my buddy bro whom I should put before myself . .

I learned all this from U aditya . .

U have been my teacher, guide , my best enemy what not . . U have been everything . .

U have shown me how a person can be towards a relationship ..

TRUE I call U selfish , , but the fact is I learned how not to be selfless from U . .

Remembering “how U asked ‘Tatha’ for chocolates for me instead of gobbling down at the age of 2 is one lesson of love I learned from U “

Love U . . and I am definitely hating every moment of this life . . of not being able to U ..

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedintumblrmail

No more to lose No more to gain

I don’t know why I had to be treated this way?
Y was / am I wrong so mishandled? or say Y am i prone to getting abused so much ?

I don’t know . .

Be it me getting assured that Aditya – my lil’ brother will be there for me . . whatever might happen . .

and losing him for this life within 2 days . . it has been a cruel blow . .

But maybe it was his destiny to be loved completely(i mean only him) . . even by me . . Yes I loved him so much (so much that even I didn’t know . . ) but I did share my love with others . . But now after he is no more do I realize that IT was he that was my complete world and not the other passing clouds that I was thinking were as important . .

I had always learned lessons lessons the hard way . .

No more to lose No more to gain in my journey of LIFE!

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedintumblrmail